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As sung by Victoria Wood on Victoria Wood: Live in Your Own Home, December 1994, and on the BBC Video Victoria Wood: Live In Your Own Home
Comedy my only goal,
My food and drink, my heart and soul.
I've had two jellies and a sausage roll.
When I wish, it isn't on a distant star,
But Barbara Windsor's uplift bra.
Am I wrong? Am I right?
I'm feeling in the mood tonight.
Feel so good, I feel so lyrical,
Feel that life is such a miracle.
I looked in the mirror. I looked right satirical.
Comedy is rough and raw,
Exposes pain you can't ignore.
Ooh, Betty, it's the mother in law.
I am strong. I am firm,
But I'm supposed to be mercilessly observant.
Comedians are tough and hard.
We've all been hurt. We've all been scarred.
We all do ads for Barclaycard.
Before the show we gather round,
In every theatre, every town.
Sooty, put that toothpaste down.
Feel the fear. I'll work your bones.
Don't mess with us. We might tell jokes.
Lord, I prayed this afternoon,
Make me funny, and make it soon,
Three Hail Marys and a Terry and June.
© Victoria Wood
Go back to my home page.