Northern Boy

As sung by Victoria Wood on Victoria Wood—As Seen On TV and on the BBC Video Victoria Wood—As Seen On TV

I never felt like this before.
My head is in a whirl.
I met my favourite girl
Today.
There's so much to tell you.
I don't know where to start,
But this is what my heart
Must say.

I'm just a simple northern boy.

I'm sure you understand.
Love makes me shy,
And that is why
I've brought along my own brass band.

They're free. It's just a hobby.
That's what all the noise was in the lobby.

So when we cuddle close tonight,

I snuggle up and hold your hand,
Just you and me,
And thirty-three
Big buggers from a big brass band.

And when it's dark, we'll light the lamps

And draw the sofa near the fire,
A cosy spot.
Oh, I forgot.
There'll probably be a heavenly choir.

There's five. They don't mind standing.
They'll be quite happy on the bathroom landing.

They're singing of my love for you.

They're singing of my deep desire.
If I'm stood up
I'll have a couple
Of women from the heavenly choir.

Let's turn out the light.
Let me hold you tight.

Let's kiss and watch the fire go low.
We won't be swept away,
Cause halfway through, I'll play
A very loud piano solo.

Oh, if you marry me my darling,

And I know I don't deserve such luck,
We won't all fit in one Rolls Royce.
I'll have to hire a three-ton truck.

The choir can do the cooking.
We'll make the honeymoon a party booking,

And in the bridal suite that evening,

While I play the Bechstein grand,
I'll sit with you beneath the covers
And must behold the whole,
And probably the whole brass band.

© Victoria Wood