Swedish made Simple

In the Restaurant (Im de Restaurant)

SCENE.—A table for one in a wood-panelled restaurant. WAITER (Ronnie Barker) stands by, with ridiculous red hair and curly moustache, carrying a pad and pencil. Enter CUSTOMER (Ronnie Corbett), dressed in Austrian yodelling outfit with blond hair and feathered cap. He sits down.

CUSTOMER. L.O.

WAITER. L.O.

CUSTOMER. R.U.B.C.

WAITER. S.V.R.B.C.

(Enter WAITRESS carrying a large ham on a silver salver.)

WAITRESS.	L.O.
WAITER.	L.O.
CUSTOMER.	L.O.
WAITRESS.	L.O.

(Exit WAITRESS into kitchen.)

CUSTOMER.	F.U.N.E.X.
WAITER.	S.V.F.X.
CUSTOMER.	F.U.N.E.M.
WAITER.	9.
CUSTOMER.	I.F.C.D.M.
WAITER.	(insistently) V.F.N.10.E.M.

(Enter WAITRESS from kitchen still carrying the ham.)

WAITRESS.	A. V.F.M.
CUSTOMER.	R.
WAITER.	O.
WAITRESS.	C. D.M. (Exit WAITRESS into kitchen.)
WAITER.	O.S. V.F.M.
CUSTOMER.	O.K. M.N.X.
WAITER.	M.N.X. (He writes it in his pad.)
CUSTOMER.	F.U.N.E.T.
WAITER.	1 T.
CUSTOMER.	1 T.
WAITER.	O.K. M.X.N.T. (He finishes writing it in his pad with a flourish and calls at the kitchen door.) M.X.N.T.4.1.

(Enter WAITRESS from kitchen.)

WAITRESS.	V.F.N.10.E.X.
CUSTOMER.	U.Z.U.F.X.
WAITER.	Y.F.N.U.N.E.X.
WAITRESS.	(sheepishly) I.F.E.10.M.
WAITER.	S.I.L.L.Y. C.O.W. (Exit WAITER.)

The Two Ronnies, 1974

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